Wednesday, 5 December 2018

Life Update, London with Primark & New Beginnings

2018 has without a doubt been the year that I have been completely M.I.A here - there is no explanation for it really, I just kind of fell out of love with blogging and this entire industry. I lost my spark to put my thoughts on a page and share any ideas I had with you all. I have been posting here and there but to be honest, it has not been the year of substantial content for you all, and for that I am so incredibly sorry. 
The Blogging Industry I think personally became very toxic in 2018 with many hate pages being set up to attack Bloggers/Influencers which in my opinion was just down right awful and took a completely nasty turn. It was the year that readers, followers and more fell out of love with bloggers and to be honest I don't blame you in the slightest because I felt the very same. I am very lucky and grateful that I have the nicest bunch of people reading my blog and supporting my social pages, who send me nothing but positive messages and people I would consider friends now. I am glad I have kept my private life private here and just shared my utter love for fashion, I want to continuously inspire people, I don't want people leaving here feeling worse about themselves. If anything this year has tested me whether I would keep my blog up and running or not. Some days I just wished I never started it and other days I wish I shared more with you all, it is a constant turmoil love/hate relationship. Along with that, Instagram has been the utter bane of my existence. I wish this industry wasn't so numbers based but unfortunately it is. My Instagram has lost more numbers than it's gained and to be honest it makes you think why would you even bother with it anymore but then again that is a complete and utter first world problem and something that should not be occupying so much of my mind but hey that is the industry I am in. 
Fortunately while there has been a good chunk of negativity around the Blogging Industry this year, I have fortunately been blessed with a rainbow of amazing opportunities after every shower of rain and for that I am SO THANKFUL. 
I have had the opportunity to work with and build amazing relationships with some of the biggest brands in the world, that want to work with little old me - it is crazy just to think about. Brands such as Primark, PrettyLittleThing, Boohoo, L'Oreal, Aussie and more have been my blessings in disguise this year and kept that fire burning inside of me especially when it was pretty much extinguished. From Electric Picnic with Aussie, Harry Potter World with Primark, Parties with PrettyLittleThing and continuous events, I feel incredibly blessed to have these opportunities every single day. 
It was actually just the end of November I was lucky enough to travel to London with Primark for the new Fantastic Beasts Movie along with a trip to Harry Potter World and lets just say 12 year old Niamh was dying inside with excitement. Stephanie and Andrea from Primark PR treated us like Queens for the trip and honestly I was just in sheer and utter awe the entire time. I honestly have to pinch myself on trips like this to make sure it is actually real life. Myself & 4 other Irish Bloggers flew to London with the Primark Girls for a 48 hour world wind trip that was honestly like a dream - I couldn't have asked for anything better. I have a tonne of pictures below of the trip if you would like to have a little look. 
While my Instagram and Blog tend to show the best version of my life, making it look like I am far from fear, worries and pain - let me tell you that could not be further from the truth. Unfortunately there has been parts of my private life that have been a complete and utter shit show this year and I just don't exactly like to show that side of my life online but maybe it is something I need to start doing, who knows. I had some extremely close family members take ill which is frightening to see and the constant worry if they will pull through. I come from a family of business people so the stress of pulling them through to the next morning is always a constant battle but like I said in a previous post, things have started to look up and my parents years of hard work has started to flourish and for that I could not be prouder of them - Life really does have it's ups and downs. 
On a more personal note, 2018 has been an absolute constant battle with my head which I have just touched on with you all at times. I have battled with my thoughts and anxieties on a continuous basis for more than 4 years. There was times I tried brushing them to the side which ended up causing more harm than good for me so after years of brushing everything under the rug and putting my physical health at risk, my family under constant worry and myself in turmoil - it was time take a stand for myself. I ended up giving up my job and I was hoping to head back to College in September but it was too much of an ask for me, secluded myself from social situations, spent an huge amount time at home, worked on my mental health and mindfulness, took over 3 months off work, spent time with people who were good for my mental health and just worked on me. Writing it all down there seems like it wasn't much but it had gotten to the point where the smallest thing like going to the shop was becoming too much. I was a 23 year old girl, living an 80 year old's life but these small steps helped. I take medication for my head and while it was something I never EVER wanted to do, it has helped me leaps and bounds. 6 months later after almost reaching break point, I am in a much better place than I could have imagined. I still struggle with the smallest things and what is easy to others is like climbing a mountain to me but I am getting there. My anxieties are at bay but they will never disappear, I have just learned to work alongside them. One thing the last 6 months has thought me is that I am really blessed with the best parents, brother, family & friends - that even at my lowest points and my ugliest self, they still love and help me. It is a group of bonds and relationships I will never take for granted. 
So as you can imagine 2018 has been a roller-coaster with turbulence but I am staying on track. I am looking forward to continuously working on myself and befriending my anxieties. I have started a job I love with a future in sight. I have trips, nights out and adventures planned that used to have me running from civilization. I am excited to start creating new content and sharing my passions here and hopefully helping others along the way and I have started to plan ways to use this platform for good. Life can be a shit show at times but with the good comes the bad and every night I count my lucky stars that I am here living it.
So this might just be the last post of 2018 or who knows I may surprise you with another one soon but this is not the end of my online safe haven, it is just getting started.  
London With Primark

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